Dangerous New Toy on Shelves


The governement was today warning of a dangerous new Christmas toy on the shelves, which could damage children if played with in the wrong way.

The Fisher-Price ‘Hattori Hanzo’ samurai sword can slice a man in two with just one blow – but the manufacturers say that used sensibly it can bring even very young children hours of fun.

Company spokesperson Davie Donaldson told us, ‘This news scare is just nonsense. Under proper supervision, the ‘Hattori Hanzo’ samurai sword can be used by children between 3-7 years to harmlessly slice tin cans, furniture and pets clean in two! The very idea that they would use it on themselves or their parents is patently absurd.’

This is the second of such scares in as many years. Last year Fisher-Price released their controversial baby-garrote, inspired by an episode of The Sopranos.

A spokesman for The Trading Standards Office told us, ‘This is all part of the tradition at this time of year. We know it’s the run up to Christmas when these crazy scare stories start to appear. Besides, only a handful of working-class babies strangled their mothers last year – and most of them were lone parents. So I really don’t know what all the fuss is about.’


8 Responses to “Dangerous New Toy on Shelves”

  1. Toys Toys and More Toys » Blog Archive » Dangerous New Toy on Shelves Says:

    […] Read the rest of this great post here […]

  2. The Tombstone Says:

    It comes to something when we our children can’t even play with swords without the Government sticking their oar in.

    It’s ‘elf n’ safety gone mad!

    You couldn’t make it up!

  3. The Tombstone Says:

    Or should that apostrophe be before the n? Hmm, where’s the grammar fairy when you need him?

  4. charliemingles Says:

    It’s both before and after TS old boy – anywhere where there is a letter missing. Don’t they facking teach you nuffin’ at school these days?

  5. The Tombstone Says:

    I had long hair and went to an all boys school. I spent English crying in the toilet.

  6. charliemingles Says:

    That explains a lot, you nancy.

  7. The Tombstone Says:

    I’m a big boy now though. I wear big boy pants.

  8. charliemingles Says:

    no trousers then – just pants? No wonder they beat you up, you freak.

    See the nurse. she’ll sort you out.

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