Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

Up here in Scotland, the weekend is traditionally a time for confessions. So I’m taking this opportunity to answer the plethora of letters, emails and enquiries that have flooded in regarding my appearance.

The following email is typical.

Dear Charlie

We’re all intrigued as to the photograph that accompanies your posts on WWM. Is this an actual photo of you, or is there some digital enhancement?

PS: For reasons of National Security, I am writing this in the nude.

Yours in Christ

Great Uncle Frank

PPS: Say hello to your mother

Well Frank. You are quite correct in your assertion. The photo above is not actually one of me. It’s actually a picture of my sister, Charlene. I would have thought that much would have been obvious – I’d never be seen dead in anything pink.

As regular readers will already know, Charlene moved to Australia at a tender age to launch her acting career. Unfortunately, she was thwarted in this ambition very early on when her part in the popular Antipodean soap ‘Neighbours’ was taken by a young Kylie Minogue ( who back then, was virtually hairless)

Despite shaving her entire body and learning how to strip a car down blind-folded and build it up again in less than 40 seconds, Charlene was never offered the role.  I think that’s when all the trouble started, and certainly her fondness for firearms began around this time.

Charlene still lives in Sydney and works from time to time getting bit parts in daytime tv. but she never fully recovered from that first knock-back. So far as her singing career – that was even less sucessful than Danni Minogue’s.

So, I publish this photo of my little sis as a tribute to her tenacious fortitude in the face of constant rejection. She really is a trooper.

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12 Responses to “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind”

  1. suzyfoxx Says:

    She’s cute charlie. tragic personal life though.

    I think I heard her solo album once. lots of shreiking and gunplay. sort of yoko ono meets charlton heston. quite catchy.

    suzyfoxx
    xxx

  2. MD Says:

    Fess up, it’s not Charlene, is it?
    No, merely Charlene’s fleecy t shirt.

    Regards

    Great Uncle Frank

  3. nursemyra Says:

    charlene is in sydney? do you think she’d like to have coffee with the nurse one day?

  4. charliemingles Says:

    she’s a bit unstable nursey. Just the sight of a camshaft or a shaved body part cuold set her recovery back years. But I’ll ask her.

    md: no comment. lazy hoor.

  5. Inchy Says:

    Does she still do the ‘throwing her own poop’ thing? I always found that to be in questionable taste at best.

  6. charliemingles Says:

    Inchy – throwin’ the poop, is a musical term Im not familiar with.

    I think thats probably more rap or hippyitty-hop-hop.

    She did coat the studio walls with her own faeces though, if thats what you mean. That was a fairly common practise back then. How do you think Phil Spector got his Wall of Sound?

  7. MD Says:

    I got that.

  8. charliemingles Says:

    PS: The Mingles Family Album is now available on Facebook, for anyone interested in the family history.

    md: I here you’ve got a lot of things. thats why i only ever answer your emails wearing gloves.

  9. MD Says:

    may I suggest you have a glove fire?

  10. riannon23 Says:

    hey charlie

    I feel right ashamed now. heres me going to bed every night thinking about snoggin your beautiful photo and its a girl all along. aaaagh

    *rinses out mouth with soap. joins convent*

    Couldnt you have given us some sort of clue. You should have given her tits an lipstick n stuff?

  11. charliemingles Says:

    You’re too kind Riannon.

    Incidentally, ‘tits an lipstick n stuff’ was the title of Charlene’s first solo album.

  12. Inchy Says:

    It’s not available on iTunes, I checked.

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