The Dark Knight – Shitting On The Audience From A Great Height

Surely when you’re planning to re-create an esteemed comic book franchise on screen you first need to decide what sort of universe you’re striving to create.Will it be other-wordly and fantastical like an actual comic book. Or will you try and shoehorn in tedious contemporary references in the hope you’ll be taken seriously.
Batman Director Christopher Nolan couldn’t make his mind up, so he’s gone for both.

So we get Christian Bale’s Batman and Heath Ledger’s Joker appearing in different movies, but sharing the same screen. It seems Nolan must have told Heath Ledger they wanted it edgy and real like a proper psychopath. But appears to have forgotten that he’s playing up against A MAN IN A BLACK RUBBER SUIT who’s apparantly just stumbled in from the Village People video they’re making on the set next-door. And who has further decided to camp it up by borrowing the voice of Barry White – The Walrus of Love and, now it seems, Masked Crimefighting.

If Ledger had given this jittery psycho shtick in another movie, a standard child-killer thriller type of affair, maybe it could have worked. But he’s playing against A MAN IN A RUBBER SUIT who, when he’s not flying through the air encased in rubber, is the rest of the time sipping champagne on Duran Duran’s Yaught with big-titted ballerinas.

Have you ever met a ballerina? I have (extra work, years ago) and big-titted is not how you’d ever describe them. Bony, twitchy, chain-smoking, torn-faced and, mostly Russian. Yes. Big & Titty. No.

I don’t ever remember Dame Margot Fontaine being invited to appear in Razzle. Though, I’ll freely admit I don’t have the complete set. Not as yet.
Anyway, whilst these two muppets were busy starring in two different films, the director was busy making yet another movie, packed with naive leaden Guatanamo and 911 references.

Okay Chris, we get the idea. You don’t like Bush, you don’t believe in the war, you don’t like all this surveillance. What a brave maverick, out there on his own, saying it like it is, sticking it to the Man … making 100 million dollar franchise-driven movies. That’ll show ’em.
Anyway, as if the average Batman viewer (the 12 -year-old boys sitting behind us who clapped at the end) could give a fuck about all that.

Maybe it’s possible to convincingly weave realism into a film about a billionaire who shags big-titted Russian ballerinas and dresses in rubber to save the people. But you’d need a far better leading man, script and director than this to make it convincing.

Also, I found Heath Ledger’s performance way too disturbing. For all the wrong reasons. It was like watching someone having a nervous breakdown on screen. I guess the film maybe came along at a fateful time for him, and playing a man on the edge wasn’t much of a stretch.

However, I suspect if he’d been cast in Mamma Mia instead of Batman, we might well have got the same performance. Not quite so appropriate perhaps, but probably far more entertaining than this big pile of shit.

And it’d be worth it just to see his rendition of ‘Does Your Mother Know That You’re Out’ in full mad hair and clown make-up.

Or did Meryl Streep do that already? I haven’t seen this one yet, so don’t spoil it for me.

6 Responses to “The Dark Knight – Shitting On The Audience From A Great Height”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    A work of genius. I knew my boy would make it one day.Now if only he could get a girlfriend and a paid job.

    Mrs Mingles

  2. charliemingles Says:

    thanks mum. I see you’re back on the crack again.

    Charlie xxx

  3. Anonymous Says:

    You really shouldn’t speak to your mother like that, Charlie.

    PS: You’re tea’s ready.

    Mister Mingles

  4. charliemingles Says:

    Okay dad. Sorry, just coming!

  5. Anonymous Says:

    And why do you have to use such bad language in your reviews.

    Barry Norman never needed to curse and swear like that. Nor did Peter Ustinov.

    Mister Mingles

  6. charliemingles Says:

    Peter Ustinov was a cunt and about as funny as richard stillgoe with cancer.

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