Sound And Fury – The Life Of A Reluctant Genius

Esteemed Music Journalist Anthony De Laney takes time away from writing for the quality newspapers to give us a weekly extract from his up-and-coming autobiography … ‘My LIfe As a Genius.’

I think it was whilst listening to a Yes album that I first realised the extraordinary depth of my genius.

Despite being just 14-years-old, tone-deaf and knowing virtually nothing of the band – I was still, remarkably, able to come up with a terribly clever review of their masterwork ‘Close the the Edge’. I even managed to throw in a knowing reference to Nietzsche, and I was thoroughly pleased with myself.

I remember I was reading a lot of Nietzsche at the time. He has since come to be a source of enormous comfort to me in recent years, particularly during the Van Morrison interviews. But more of those later.

I remember too the keen sense of destiny it engendered in me when I read the piece back to myself and said, ‘My Sweet Lord, I’m a blooming genius!’

Unfortunately, those first halting words which were to be the literary Phoenix to ignite an entire firebrand generation have since been lost to posterity. I wrote it on the back of my trigonometry homework and then handed it in, failing with a C – (It’s graphs, I’m no bloody good at graphs. I kept telling Mrs Fairbrass, but she took no notice.)

But trigonometry’s loss was literature’s gain.
If onIy I had preserved the piece, what delightful nuggets it may have summoned forth. Alas, It was not until considerably later that I started framing my reviews and housing them in their own purpose-built temperature-controlled walk-in eco-pod – a decision which really has been an enormous success.

Of course, occassionally one of my children will josh me a little over it.

‘Daddy, do I really need to wear a paper mask and cotton gloves to enter the room?’

‘Dad, can’t we pleez turn it into another bedroom? I’m sick of sharing with James – I’m 19.’

‘Dad, do we really have to commemorate the date you wrote your first review with a torchlit family procession through the streets? All the neighbours are staring at us.’

And other such nonsense.

But I’m sure, as they get older, their understanding of the importance of such an archive will grow.

After all, isn’t it reassuring to know that such pieces as my interview with Kevin Ayres about his musical based on the life of Roy Hattersley can be preserved for the reading pleasure of future generations?

(And so long as they take their shoes off when entering the room and don the white cotton ‘praise’ robes provided – it’s a thoroughly straightforward process.)

Of course, some people may find this approach perhaps a tad self-congratulatory. But there are always these sad, bitter, deluded types in any industry and the best we can do is ignore them and humbly move on.

Next week Anthony reveals how interviewing Van Morrison brought him to the brink of a nervous breakdown.

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6 Responses to “Sound And Fury – The Life Of A Reluctant Genius”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Funny. Luv the cute chimp. Give him a kiss from me. Is that really what you look like, Monkey?

    See ya

    Suze xxx

  2. shakespereanmonkey Says:

    Yes, Suzy, that photo was taken last week. I’ve had a haircut since then though and I don’t have a licence for the gun.

    Which makes me a bad monkey.

  3. Musky Says:

    It’s about time that we all become privvy to the hidded world of Anthony De Laney

    I had the great privilege to meet Anthony when I was just a young up-and-coming journalist way back in the bygone days. Well, I didn’t actually meet him, I was stuck in a Post-Office queue behind him and when the queue moved forward, I accidentally stood on the heel of his flip-flop causing him to lunge at the six-foot blonde standing in front of him. Neither Anthony nor the blonde were amused. Anthony did of course, try to say his sorrys but the blonde was too enraged to notice. The blond said nothing, he just took off his crash-helmet and clobbered Anthony about the head and body with it.

    From my perspective it was a horrific scene, and if it wasn’t for the fact of me being in somewhat of a hurry, I would’ve helped poor Anthony off the floor of the Post-Office.

    Dispite the verbal lack-of-vocabulary coming out of Anthony’s mouth, I still admire his writing skills and can’t wait to read more.

  4. shakespereanmonkey Says:

    I have spoken to Mr De Laney. he thanks you for your kind comments.

    Although he does think your piece bears more than a passing resemblance to, and I quote,’that Scotch-sounding oik who wrote to me earlier’

    I wouldnt take his comments too much to heart though Musky. between me and you – he’s a dick!

  5. SatyreMagazine Says:

    What a masterpiece sir.

    Almost as good as the extraordinarily hilarious new online magazine: SatyreMagazine

  6. nursemyra Says:

    I’m having trouble swallowing that bait in the last sentence……

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