Doberman Unleashed

We’re very grateful here at TALES to have the renowned modern philosopher Frank Doberman, who has agreed be a regular contributor to the site, giving us the benefit of his vast knowledge on people and current events. Mr Enfield, if you read this, please don’t sue me.

First off, Modernist Composer Philip Glass …

Don’t get me wrong – I admire Glass! His particular brand of Minimalist music is both moving and sublime.

But, if he was to come round my ‘ouse, in the middle of the night, and record over all my Phil Collins cassettes with his poncey bleeps and farts and what have you – I would have to say, ‘Oi Glass! No!

‘I admire the way you can weave both hypnotic and elegaic musical structures from the most basic atonal forms whilst at the same time nodding contrapunctually towards both Bach and Schubert.

‘But you’re having a laugh if you think you can break into my ‘ouse in the middle of the night, fumble through my wife’s undies and shit on the dining room carpet, YOU BIG-NOSED, TONE-DEAF, MOP-TOPPED YANKEE FUCKWIT!!!’

And I would most definitely have to give him an almighty slap!

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